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Disconnect

by Jameson

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1.
Timeshare 02:08
Lakeside breeze mends with the smell of the pine trees We watched the sun crash behind the mountains slowly down and down You sat on the ground in the dirt with me. I found that your eyes made it hard to breathe. These words what am I supposed to do with these now? It was so cold and dark. I’m trying to rekindle our spark. But you let it fade away. I can’t blame you for the words you say. I know it’s my fault, will you please stay? I can’t even say that I’ve wasted my time. Every moment with you has been so divine. To say otherwise would be a crime;A lie I’ll keep on. Still godless and still all alone. I’ll hold my own. It’s etched in stone. I’ll keep on. Still godless and still all alone.
2.
Pillow Talk 03:21
I think you should know that I will be just fine and I can’t press rewind and that’s alright. I just think that you, you should just do you and I’ll do my thing too, forget about last June I remember pillow talk and mellow songs. How could you do me so wrong? Could it be the dopamine and xanny bars hidden in the back of your car? And I don’t think things are okay. Can’t seem to take your breath away like I once did on that day we held each other by the bay. And I just think that I, have better paths to choose and I think you do too so lace up your damn boots and get the fuck out of here as fast as you can. Find yourself at ease with another man. Like you’ve wanted to do for some time. I don’t ever want to get caught up in your blues. I want to cover the tracks and move on with that and be fine I want to forget you. And rid the ugly truth from the darkest corners of the well that is my mind I remember pillow talk and mellow songs. How could you do me so wrong? Could it be the dopamine and xanny bars hidden in the back of your car? And I don’t think things are alright. Can’t spark the fire in your eyes. Like I once did on the night we owned the beach under the skies.
3.
I just want to pass time here with you. You have no clue, this deep blooming truth Don’t tell me everything will be fine, you’re not mine. Minutes are hours and hours are days. For what seems like years I’ve been stuck in your gaze. Call me when you’re back in town tonight I’m not fine when you’re not around. Sunset drives, summer nights. Bottles of wine, city lights. Under the stars I keep falling for you. You know it’s true. Ocean eyes vast as the skies, open the doors in the back of my mind. Maybe in time we will align but for now I’ll lie awake when you’re not around. I’m drowning in false hope and memories of what might not even be there.
4.
I always let the good ones slip through my fingers and I always let the pain sink in oh how it lingers My head is slipping through my hands as I sit down on the curb I’d drop it all and swoop you up if you’d give me the word That laugh and that smile please stay for a while I might act like it’s fine but that’s just denial Is this some kind of game? I know you feel the same. I can see it when you stare right back through the glass set in your frames Life’s little whispers are calling me to you. The vital signs we realize. Instincts are tried and true. Im hoping that you’ll come around with intent to pursue Life’s quiet whispers I know you hear them too I need some time to face it and embrace it all. I need some time to take these pills and drown in alcohol. Because when you don’t reply my mind thinks it knows where you are. Either skin deep in his bed or in the backseat of his car. I’m wading through toxins with vices and demons And you’re not here with me and I’m sure you have your reasons Is this some kind of game? I know you feel the same. I see it when you stare right back through the glass set in your frames. I’m sorry I pushed you off the edge. I had no time to think. And now I meet this bitter end and my heart it starts to sink. Tell me, is this really it? Does this connection die here? Tell me what you really want. Spit it out loud and clear.
5.
Heavy Eyes 02:54
On my way tonight through the pouring rain. I’d do anything just to find you Yes I’ve had a few. Popped a couple norcs too. Drive through anything just to find you. Keep your heavy eyes open toward the sky. I’ll be there with you, just wait up now Stay awake for me, I’ll be there by three. When the evening calls, don’t let me drown I know we went our ways. I know you count the days. In spite of everything our words lay here I know in time you’ll be someone else’s world but for now let our lust burn like incense I want to hear you breathe heavy in my ear. While I run my hands soft down your back Cigarettes after sex sings the moon to sleep As you rest your lips on my neck now Let this song be a realm where you and I can be free. Laying here skin to skin. Close your eyes. Breathe in. Embrace time we hold now together as one.
6.
Disconnect 04:05
I know you know that I want you so bad and I know that you want me to take back what I said that night when I held you at 4 am. I know we’ve got each other up until the end we’ll be alright. I want you tonight. I can’t believe a year has passed. Time always proves that things fade fast. You’re unaware of the spell you cast It’s the only thing that seems to last Since the moment I met you up until now I’d escape from this trance but I don’t know how You know how to make me feel alone in a crowd You give me a sense of worth when I’m down and out You told me to hold off so i held my tongue But it’s been so hard because I know you’re the one These words on my heart and mind they weigh a ton I need to nut up and shut up and get it done Your eyes are bluer than my darkest nights That must be why these words get caught and my lips start to fight All the pieces fit on my end but I’m lost in the smoke from all the signs you send So do I wait or do I bounce? I want to be the centerpiece your life surrounds So do I wait or do I bounce? I hope my voice is what you find through all the sounds

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released July 22, 2018

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Jameson Corona, California

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